Diets

It's pretty typical this time of year to hear of people going on a diet. So many list "lose weight" as a New Year's Resolution. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't done it before.

I'm trying hard this year to NOT make it a resolution, but I know I need to make some changes. But they go beyond food. I've realized that lately that my diet not only consists of too much food, but of food that no longer nourishes me. I'm addicted to carbs and sugar. I'm addicted to the highs these foods bring, and in a weird way, the lows. I eat for many reasons - from comfort to boredom - but it's rare I eat for nourishment.

At the same time, I've realized there are a lot of things in my life I need to change. I have a problem with gluttony in many areas of my life. From excess spending to borderline hoarding, my waistline isn't the only thing that is larger than it should be. My credit card bills, to-do lists, and piles of stuff I need to address are all out of control.

I waste time as well. So often I find myself running around at the last minute before the kids get off the bus because I spent two hours on Facebook instead of tackling those projects, those piles, or that workout I've been saying I need to do.

It all links together.

I haven't been happy in a very long time. I'm missing something, and I still don't know what I'm missing, but I know that these things I'm trying to fill the spot with are NOT what I need. I don't need more food or more stuff. I don't need to feel more connected on Facebook. I need to focus my attention, and my IN-tention, to me. I need to be present. I need to change my thinking if I want to change myself and my life.

So I'm going on a diet. A diet from self-doubt. A diet from negativity. A diet from the things I tell myself I can't do. I'm going to nourish myself. Not just my body, but my mind, and my soul. I'm committing again, but instead of to an arbitrary idea of writing everyday (which didn't exactly go as planned) I'm committing to ME. I will write, but I will not force it. I'll write when it serves me as a creative outlet. As a way to explore what I'm feeling and honor it.

My diet starts starts today.